To all the moms feeling inadequate,
You feel like you’ll never win. You can never make everyone happy, keep the house clean, or you forget to do something from time to time. You’re only one person. And you’re very overwhelmed. Sometimes to the point of tears.
You’ll debate with yourself. “Why can’t I be as good as other moms?” Or “My family’s and my house’s needs are more important than me.” “I don’t deserve ____ if I can’t get anything done first.” (Even after doing said thing all day).
You don’t share your thoughts because you feel like you shouldn’t. That in a small way you’ll lose something by admitting it. But you feel stuck, tired, defeated and you’re pretty sure tomorrow looks that way too.
You’re in the midst of this time warp where you don’t know the day of the week, you missed that thing at your kid’s school, or you are drowning in chores….
You judge yourself before anyone ever could. You judge yourself for things that you can’t even control.
You carry Mom guilt. We all do.
Mom guilt is our inner dialogue that tells us that we should’ve done something different even though we can’t know if the decision we made was wrong. For example, feeling guilty for staying home even though you could use the income. Or working even though you want to see your kids more. You basically never win with yourself.-Anna Havens
But you are brave, and strong, and good. You are a GOOD mom!
And you’re going to make it through today. And tomorrow. And the next day. And you’re going to feel better. You’re going to figure out how to feel more confident and at peace with motherhood. You’re going to continue loving on your family no matter what.
And one day you’ll finally look back on this time and remember more good days than bad. And your kids will remember a mom who was always there for them. They’ll know all the love you never thought was good enough.
But for now, know your worth.
Know that God is lovingly looking over you in the warmth of the bright coral sunrises and sunsets. He sees you checking on your sleeping kids in the dark of the night and gazing on them in the midst of the day.
Know that you’re the first thing your kiddos want in the morning and last at night. They want your love and affection and playfulness all through the day. They want the warmth of your arms wrapped around them when they hurt and are insecure. You are their entire world. And their world is good because of you.
You are loved.
Know that when you’re falling short of perfection, that you are a human being and it’s okay. You’re allowed to rest if you’re tired. Cry if you’re sad. Meditate or pray when you’re overwhelmed. Treat yourself to some new clothes when you feel small. Ask a sitter to watch the kids when you need space. Have a chat with a friend when you feel frustrated. Do something for you when the days are long.
You shouldn’t have to explain to anyone why you’re taking care of yourself. You’re a person just as much as you’re a mom.
Cut yourself a break! You deserve it! You deserve the joys of Mom Life!