Bubble Baths Don’t Fix Mom Problems

Bubble Baths Don’t Fix Mom Problems

In speaking about the topic of Mom guilt, we’re really searching for so many answers. Is this normal? Why don’t I feel satisfied? Will I always feel this pressure? Does any good come out of feeling this way?

I may not have all of the answers, but yes it’s normal. And no I don’t think Mom guilt leads to any satisfaction. Mom guilt is negative self-talk. It’s a bundle of lies that tell you that you aren’t good enough for your family. You don’t have to always feel this way either. With some practiced self-love, you can settle into a happier lifestyle, where you don’t need to achieve perfection.

Self-love is realizing that you’ve neglected yourself for a while and that you need to put yourself back together. Self-love is not something you buy. It’s prioritizing yourself more than you normally would to fix the broken pieces of you. Self-love (or self-care, whatever you call it), runs deeper than the most calming bubble bath.

As a Mom it never feels like there’s enough time in the day. There’s always more to do and we’re always at the bottom of our own lists. Once, (when our three boys were toddlers) I used to say “I never have enough time to even have my thoughts to myself.” I was so used to being needed after sitting for .2 seconds on the couch. Even if baby slept during nap, there was always one kid who was never tired. I have a feeling that if there were more hours in the day, I would probably try to get more done around the house and be even more exhausted. It wouldn’t bump me up the list any quicker. Honestly what would you do with more hours?

The hardest thing as a Mom for me, especially, is to practice sitting still and being with my thoughts. It looks lazy. It feels lazy. It might be borderline lazy…. but for a good cause. We live in a world where you aren’t considered important if you aren’t constantly busy. Having several jobs is like a badge of honor. But sitting on your couch, sipping hot coffee (that hasn’t been reheated), breathing slowly, watching the sunrise, and thanking God for the beautiful morning can be the reset you need.

As parents we’re pretty much permanently exhausted. We do so much, yet feel like it’s never enough. An ordinary, busy day doesn’t feel productive enough. The days when we decide not raise a hand for every school event or fundraiser, the days when we couldn’t make it to our kid’s practice or game, or when we told our kids no… makes us feel like we are somehow failing. However, when you’re constantly giving of yourself, but not taking care of your deepest needs, you start to feel even more drained mentally and emotionally.

What if just for one day, we could make the time for the things we need most?

That bubble bath I was talking about earlier might not cure your Mom problems. However if your deepest need is space and partnership, then handing the baton to your spouse to control the chaos while you soak in the tub might be helpful.

Sleeping in once a week or taking naps (when feasible) might not fix your Mom problems, but it might help you be less irritable. If you’re up with little kids through the night or don’t sleep well, you could be headed in a downward spiral messing with your mood and mental state. If you have support, don’t be afraid to ask for help with the kids for this one. Sleep deprivation is real!

Shopping solo might not fix your Mom problems, but going on a drive might give you that sense of space and freedom you need most. Even just going for a peaceful walk or run might help, too.

Visiting your Mom or having a chat on the phone with your Mom friends might not fix your Mom problems. However, if your deepest need is to feel more adequate or understood, that conversation might make your day more bearable. Sometimes being real about motherhood with someone else helps you feel not so alone.

Sitting on the couch in silence might not fix your Mom problems, but maybe you just need a moment to process the day in prayer. Knowing that there is a higher power and that you’re part of a plan helps you see the big picture.

And lastly, having goals and wants of your own might not fix your Mom problems, but it can sure give you back your identity. Having time to do things that make you unique might put the spark back in your life.

Motherhood can easily lead you down the path of depression and anxiety. If you’re lucky to surpass even a brief stage of either, no one talks about all of the pressure.

Since motherhood isn’t one-size-fits-all, I can’t tell you exactly what you need. If your life is even a little chaotic, I encourage you to take a step back, talk with your closest people and do some soul searching.

The hardest part of self-care is making time for yourself when there are a hundred other things that need done. You’ll have to bump yourself up on your agenda. You’ll probably still never finish the laundry, but that’s okay because you’re important too!

Bubble baths won’t fix the burn out of Mom life, but recognizing your own needs and having support might.

10 Funny Parenting Tweets

10 Funny Parenting Tweets

Once, while on a Facebook Mom’s group, someone posted, “What’s your favorite mantra for getting through motherhood?” A member legit responded with, “f*** it.” I’ve never laughed harder at a Facebook post! And that is pretty much a summary of Twitter.

As a Mom of 3 boys, I connect well with genuine parents and their daily challenges. Twitter parents don’t fake out their followers exclaiming to live flawless lives. In fact, the more realistic, the funnier!

I’m both comforted and entertained by these funny tweets! Here are some of my favorites!

(If you can’t view the Tweets, try viewing this page directly on mommabirdblog.com.)

1. At least they know…

I mean, at least they do know the good 80’s movies. So there’s that!

2. Definite 6th sense

Toddlers are pretty good at maintaining the chaos! There’s never a dull moment….

3. The Horror

Oh boy! You have to watch out for those guys!

4. “Push it good! Push it real good!”

5. Tiny Extroverts…

Honestly, don’t we go to the park so other kids can wear them out, while we can just tag out for a minute?

6. #motivationmonday

Toddlers are the most confident people, let alone when they’re trying to save the world!

7. Every time…

It’s always 100x worse! Right?

8.

9. Coffee, wine, repeat.

10. So many tears

There’s 10! These are only just a few of my favorites! Here’s a similar post:

10 Funny Tweets About Parenthood

Next time, who would you like to see featured in our funny Tweets? Comment below or message!

Slow Cooker Applesauce

Slow Cooker Applesauce

Ready for Fall?

Here’s a simple recipe that will make your house smell amazingly like the best of Fall! Since preschool is only 2 days a week, I wanted to do something fun with my little guy on his day off.

Not going to lie, I have Fall on the brain. And apple cinnamon is my favorite Fall smell! Plus, c’mon apple picking is a fun activity for the kiddos. So perfect mommy and me fun day!

Preparation

In order to make a whole Crock-Pot worth of applesauce, you’ll need a half bushel of apples.

  1. First, soak the apples in a sinkful of water and a capful of Thieves fruit and veggie soak.
  2. Peel and cube apples. (I toss all my scraps in a bowl to compost later.)
  3. Toss cubed apples in large Crock-Pot with 4 cups water, TBS. Cinnamon, and sugar if desired. (I prefer mine with no added sugar.)
  4. Cook on high heat for 6 hours, stirring occasionally. You can turn the heat down if it begins bubbling.
  5. Let cool for about an hour before eating or storing in freezer containers.

One crock made about 4-5 jars worth, but I chose to freeze most of ours in Tupperware. So far we’ve made 2 crocks-worth and an entire pan of Apple crisp, which the boys refer to as Apple Crunch.

I’m not sure what they like more, picking apples or eating them. What’s your favorite apple recipe?

How to be a Fun Mom

How to be a Fun Mom

First off, I’m going to warn you that I broke one of my own rules. Only 1-2 cups of coffee and never past 4:00 in the afternoon. I needed one more tonight because of hormonal fatigue. Which, if I’m being honest, the vegetarian diet has helped tremendously!

So as I sit here tonight with caffeine pumping through my veins, I want to share some ideas. I’ll have you know that over the years, I’ve basically been borderline preschool teacher mixed with Pinterest Mom. As my kids have grown up and grown more independently, I’ve grown into a super duper mean Mom. (Or at least they think I am because they have chores and don’t have free reign.)

Like anything else, I believe that moderation is key. In order to have a good parent/child relationship, you’ve got to master discipline with understanding. And by discipline I’ve found that time-outs and taking toys away are merely as effective as rewards.

So this Summer, as we had our own schedules to abide by, I tried to keep a light daily structure without overdoing plans. Of course, my husband will tell you that I over plan to leave the house on his days off. I mean, as a stay-at-home Mom (and someone who’s a little adventurous) who would want to always be home?

They’ve been doing tons of summer reading, even me. I’ve been able to indulge in the adult library section (mostly consisting of self-help books). We’ve done our share of exploring barefoot in creeks and playing a game of family baseball. We’ve enjoyed visiting the farmer’s market and swimming at the local quarry, too.

For as much fun and discipline that we carried out, I thought we had the perfect balance of both worlds. Don’t worry though, like every other family on planet Earth, our kids aren’t immune to bad behavior. And I still definitely yell.

Although there’s no secret solution to master parenting, I feel like our best shot at containing the “energies” of our kids can be simple. A wise philosopher once said that we should spend 1-on-1 time with our children every day. John Dewey thought this to be one of the most powerful tools for raising children into successful people.

Just think about this for a minute. If we spend 30+ minutes a day trying to engage in conversation (and not necessarily lecture), we could have amazing relationships.

Today, as the grandparents took our younger two for a fun day, I was reminded of something important. My oldest needs more of my time and attention. So instead of working on the e-book that I’ve begun writing, I thought, there are only a few weeks left to enjoy him this summer. I asked him what he wanted to do and I said yes to him. It’s easy to just tell our kids what they’re doing and say no, but they don’t feel understood when we automate our responses.

Don’t forget that in order to be a good parent, your well-being matters. For instance it’s easier to say “yes” when we feel energetic and healthy. You matter too.

Today we played baseball like we always used to. When my son was 2, we would have batting practice, almost daily because he enjoyed batting, but also enjoyed my attention. Today we also enjoyed a relaxing afternoon in the hot tub, which is reserved normally only for adults. And we were going to wrap it up by playing video games together. Unfortunately, once I got word that the little boys were heading back, I went into cleaning mode. (Still kicking myself for that.)

Overall, I learned that being the crafty, structured, patient Mom isn’t super realistic all the time. But that by trying to silently listen to our kids and do the things they like, they feel understood. And if having kid-sized fun every once in a while makes me a cool Mom, then that’s really just a win-win!

What kinds of fun things to you and your kiddos do for fun?

Buffalo Cauliflower and Sweet Potato Fries

Buffalo Cauliflower and Sweet Potato Fries

For our Sunday recipe, I wanted to incorporate a vegetarian meal. My husband and I have been trying vegetarian for 2 weeks. He and his co-workers made a pact to try it and determine later if it impacted their overall health. I’ve been wanting to hop on board with more meatless meals and nutrient-dense foods.

So far we’ve both noticeably lost weight and feel more alert and energetic. I’ve had such a difficult time staying away from dairy. I had a small amount of cheese on a veggie burger and my stomach did not like it! I miss dairy the most, but I’m on a mission to continue feeling well. Vegetarian can’t be boring if I’m going to be serious about it, though.

For lunch, I wanted to make a yummy plant-based lunch that our boys would actually eat. I’ve been eyeing buffalo cauliflower, but needed a side to go along with it. So I sliced up a few sweet potatoes as fries.

This was a good snack/finger food lunch! These would be perfect for a party of health conscious guests!

Buffalo cauliflower

Sweet potato fries took simple prep, 20 minutes to prep, and we’re very similar to regular fries.

I followed a recipe from tasty.com (link below). One package of cauliflower served our family of 5 for a light lunch. I would consider 1 package of cauliflower per 2-3 adults though.

Basically, you create a breading with spices, bake on 450° for 20 minutes, coat with hot sauce, and bake another 20 minutes. It would be amazing in an air fryer!

We served our with ranch, but Bleu cheese dressing would be delish too!

Sweet potato fries

This is much like the regular fries recipe that is up on Momma Bird Blog. These are nice to make with the buffalo cauliflower because your oven will already be up to temp. All you have to do is pop them in on another baking rack.

Just peel about 3-4 sweet potatoes (I chose longer skinnier ones about the same size for consistency). Then slice in the size you want, keeping the same width for each.

In a big mixing bowl, mix olive oil and garlic salt and toss in sweet potatoes. Make sure they’re covered in the mixture.

Spread sweet potato fries on a baking sheet (with foil or parchment paper). Bake on 450° for 20 minutes.

These were served on a sharing platter with BBQ and we couldn’t stop eating them! The best part was that the boys knew they were sweet potatoes. So, in the future they’ll know that sweet potatoes are something worth trying.

Like I tell my family, you won’t know you don’t like something until you try it prepared different ways. Cauliflower, for instance, seems to be a little less popular. However, you can have it in soups, roasted, steamed, or in broccoli cauliflower salad. Same with sweet potatoes. I’m normally not a fan (sshh don’t tell my kids), but in fry form they were yummy!

What’s your favorite vegetarian meal?Please share a link in the comments below!

Here’s the link to the recipe above.

Changing The Way We Look At Food

Changing The Way We Look At Food

Recently as my husband has been taking classes to become an EMT, he’s thinking more about the human body. He usually feels sluggish and groggy. Like a good wife, I remind him that he can’t be eating highly processed foods/snack and feel energetic.

So after he saw a documentary about animal consumption and health issues, he and his co-workers made a pact. They are choosing a plant-based diet for 2 weeks to see if they feel better. It’s only been a couple days and they’ve all noticed weight loss and more energy.

We’re focusing on whole grains, nuts/seeds, and tons of produce. So far, it’s been nice having him hop on board with me.

The kids love their fresh food especially! We’ve incorporated more fats and proteins in their meals though because they are so little and so active.

After some research, we made a list of foods we would eat. We’ve tried to extend from our comfort zones. We don’t want to just eat salads for 2 weeks either.

In order to stock up well, we’ve applied one of our shopping techniques. We’ve been doing groceries every biweekly pay period. It normally looks like too much food the first day, but we shove next week’s food to the back of the fridge. I mean, what kid would dare venture back there. So safe to say our “rationing” is doable.

2 weeks worth of fresh produce to feed a family of 5. The most we’ve ever bought at once, but now the focus of our meals.

By week 2, I try to make up food before it spoils. So for instance if the lettuce or strawberries are looking sad, I hurry up and use those.

We’re having more whole grains, nuts, and seeds. The whole grains have an amazing flavor!

Ignore the watermelon back there. I was running out of room for all the fresh produce. 😆

With a vegetarian diet I tend to gravitate toward black beans. I love a good Mexican-style rice bowl for a filling meal. I also gravitate towards bananas for a filling smoothie base.

However there’s a little confusion about vegetarians not having cheese or having it. I am choosing to spend the 2 weeks dairy-free because I think it plays a major factor with inflammation. More specifically I cannot digest milk as well as I used to.

A friend from the American Dairy Association noted that if you are lactose intolerant that you may, however, digest cheese fine. Apparently there isn’t much lactose in cheese.

So we’re focusing first on nutrient-dense produce, then adding in nuts and seeds, and whole grains. Things we’re avoiding; added sugars, processed foods, dairy, and alcohol.

I’m learning how not boring it can be.

A few years ago, this term was used and it’s stuck with me since, “fuel-food.” It reminds us that we don’t need to fill our bodies with junk to satisfy hunger. Rather we should be mindful about what we’re putting in our bodies. You’re on the right track if you are nurturing your body.

Like anything else, healthy diet takes time and good support.

Pin this!

See Momma Bird Blog’s first post, 8 Ways To Lose Baby Weight Realistically.

3 Superfood Smoothies

3 Superfood Smoothies

Sunday recipe posts are back on Momma Bird Blog! Although this is not a fitness and weight loss blog, nutrition is such a huge part of feeling good.

I often find myself talking nutrition with my husband, because I value the benefits of eating well. Sometimes when he’s really tired, I remind him to have a handful or almonds or an apple. When my family is all feeling under the weather, we focus more on hydration and electrolytes. And when I’m getting to that time of the month, I’m always craving heart healthy foods.

Today, I thought I’d share 3 superfood smoothies, especially for those of you who maybe have small children and not a lot of time to eat a balanced diet. Because when you skip a meal altogether, the burnout goes from a mental to physical state.

I’ve had my own speculations about superfoods because it seems like everything is considered to be this ultra-powerful food. It seems that social media tends to really hype-up any whole food. According to Healthline, there are only 16 real superfoods.

Keep in mind that smoothies are super flexible. You can always play with taste; adding various natural sweeteners, dairy, vitality essential oils, and more. If you decide to use oils, make sure to use 100% therapeutic grade essential oils that are intended to digest. (You don’t want to digest perfume oils or oils that aren’t intended for internal use.) Lastly, I used an emulsion blender to whip these up and served them in plastic stemless wine glasses. Perfect way to get that boost for the day!

Avocado + Spinach

Add some lemon or lime to this energy boosting goodness.
  • 1/4 cup avocado ripened, and cubed
  • 1/4 cup fresh, washed spinach
  • 1 banana
  • 1 cup water to thin
  • 2 drops of lemon or lime vitality essential oil (100% therapeutic grade)

Blend with emulsion blender and taste.

Berry + Watermelon

Add frozen berries for a chilly treat!
  • 1 cup of cubed watermelon (no seeds)
  • 1/4 cup of frozen berries
  • 2 drops of lemon vitality essential oil (100% pure therapeutic oil)

No need to add water, the watermelon thins well on its own! Blend and enjoy!

Tropical Ginger

One sip tastes like island life!
  • 1 whole banana
  • 1/2 cup chopped pineapple
  • 2 drops lemon vitality essential oil (100% therapeutic grade)
  • fresh grated ginger (a little goes a long way)
  • Dash of dairy milk, almond milk, or coconut milk

If you prefer a chilled smoothie, just freeze your chopped banana and pineapple ahead of time.

The Three Amigos

Which one are you most likely to try first?