Bubble Baths Don’t Fix Mom Problems

Bubble Baths Don’t Fix Mom Problems

In speaking about the topic of Mom guilt, we’re really searching for so many answers. Is this normal? Why don’t I feel satisfied? Will I always feel this pressure? Does any good come out of feeling this way?

I may not have all of the answers, but yes it’s normal. And no I don’t think Mom guilt leads to any satisfaction. Mom guilt is negative self-talk. It’s a bundle of lies that tell you that you aren’t good enough for your family. You don’t have to always feel this way either. With some practiced self-love, you can settle into a happier lifestyle, where you don’t need to achieve perfection.

Self-love is realizing that you’ve neglected yourself for a while and that you need to put yourself back together. Self-love is not something you buy. It’s prioritizing yourself more than you normally would to fix the broken pieces of you. Self-love (or self-care, whatever you call it), runs deeper than the most calming bubble bath.

As a Mom it never feels like there’s enough time in the day. There’s always more to do and we’re always at the bottom of our own lists. Once, (when our three boys were toddlers) I used to say “I never have enough time to even have my thoughts to myself.” I was so used to being needed after sitting for .2 seconds on the couch. Even if baby slept during nap, there was always one kid who was never tired. I have a feeling that if there were more hours in the day, I would probably try to get more done around the house and be even more exhausted. It wouldn’t bump me up the list any quicker. Honestly what would you do with more hours?

The hardest thing as a Mom for me, especially, is to practice sitting still and being with my thoughts. It looks lazy. It feels lazy. It might be borderline lazy…. but for a good cause. We live in a world where you aren’t considered important if you aren’t constantly busy. Having several jobs is like a badge of honor. But sitting on your couch, sipping hot coffee (that hasn’t been reheated), breathing slowly, watching the sunrise, and thanking God for the beautiful morning can be the reset you need.

As parents we’re pretty much permanently exhausted. We do so much, yet feel like it’s never enough. An ordinary, busy day doesn’t feel productive enough. The days when we decide not raise a hand for every school event or fundraiser, the days when we couldn’t make it to our kid’s practice or game, or when we told our kids no… makes us feel like we are somehow failing. However, when you’re constantly giving of yourself, but not taking care of your deepest needs, you start to feel even more drained mentally and emotionally.

What if just for one day, we could make the time for the things we need most?

That bubble bath I was talking about earlier might not cure your Mom problems. However if your deepest need is space and partnership, then handing the baton to your spouse to control the chaos while you soak in the tub might be helpful.

Sleeping in once a week or taking naps (when feasible) might not fix your Mom problems, but it might help you be less irritable. If you’re up with little kids through the night or don’t sleep well, you could be headed in a downward spiral messing with your mood and mental state. If you have support, don’t be afraid to ask for help with the kids for this one. Sleep deprivation is real!

Shopping solo might not fix your Mom problems, but going on a drive might give you that sense of space and freedom you need most. Even just going for a peaceful walk or run might help, too.

Visiting your Mom or having a chat on the phone with your Mom friends might not fix your Mom problems. However, if your deepest need is to feel more adequate or understood, that conversation might make your day more bearable. Sometimes being real about motherhood with someone else helps you feel not so alone.

Sitting on the couch in silence might not fix your Mom problems, but maybe you just need a moment to process the day in prayer. Knowing that there is a higher power and that you’re part of a plan helps you see the big picture.

And lastly, having goals and wants of your own might not fix your Mom problems, but it can sure give you back your identity. Having time to do things that make you unique might put the spark back in your life.

Motherhood can easily lead you down the path of depression and anxiety. If you’re lucky to surpass even a brief stage of either, no one talks about all of the pressure.

Since motherhood isn’t one-size-fits-all, I can’t tell you exactly what you need. If your life is even a little chaotic, I encourage you to take a step back, talk with your closest people and do some soul searching.

The hardest part of self-care is making time for yourself when there are a hundred other things that need done. You’ll have to bump yourself up on your agenda. You’ll probably still never finish the laundry, but that’s okay because you’re important too!

Bubble baths won’t fix the burn out of Mom life, but recognizing your own needs and having support might.

How to be a Fun Mom

How to be a Fun Mom

First off, I’m going to warn you that I broke one of my own rules. Only 1-2 cups of coffee and never past 4:00 in the afternoon. I needed one more tonight because of hormonal fatigue. Which, if I’m being honest, the vegetarian diet has helped tremendously!

So as I sit here tonight with caffeine pumping through my veins, I want to share some ideas. I’ll have you know that over the years, I’ve basically been borderline preschool teacher mixed with Pinterest Mom. As my kids have grown up and grown more independently, I’ve grown into a super duper mean Mom. (Or at least they think I am because they have chores and don’t have free reign.)

Like anything else, I believe that moderation is key. In order to have a good parent/child relationship, you’ve got to master discipline with understanding. And by discipline I’ve found that time-outs and taking toys away are merely as effective as rewards.

So this Summer, as we had our own schedules to abide by, I tried to keep a light daily structure without overdoing plans. Of course, my husband will tell you that I over plan to leave the house on his days off. I mean, as a stay-at-home Mom (and someone who’s a little adventurous) who would want to always be home?

They’ve been doing tons of summer reading, even me. I’ve been able to indulge in the adult library section (mostly consisting of self-help books). We’ve done our share of exploring barefoot in creeks and playing a game of family baseball. We’ve enjoyed visiting the farmer’s market and swimming at the local quarry, too.

For as much fun and discipline that we carried out, I thought we had the perfect balance of both worlds. Don’t worry though, like every other family on planet Earth, our kids aren’t immune to bad behavior. And I still definitely yell.

Although there’s no secret solution to master parenting, I feel like our best shot at containing the “energies” of our kids can be simple. A wise philosopher once said that we should spend 1-on-1 time with our children every day. John Dewey thought this to be one of the most powerful tools for raising children into successful people.

Just think about this for a minute. If we spend 30+ minutes a day trying to engage in conversation (and not necessarily lecture), we could have amazing relationships.

Today, as the grandparents took our younger two for a fun day, I was reminded of something important. My oldest needs more of my time and attention. So instead of working on the e-book that I’ve begun writing, I thought, there are only a few weeks left to enjoy him this summer. I asked him what he wanted to do and I said yes to him. It’s easy to just tell our kids what they’re doing and say no, but they don’t feel understood when we automate our responses.

Don’t forget that in order to be a good parent, your well-being matters. For instance it’s easier to say “yes” when we feel energetic and healthy. You matter too.

Today we played baseball like we always used to. When my son was 2, we would have batting practice, almost daily because he enjoyed batting, but also enjoyed my attention. Today we also enjoyed a relaxing afternoon in the hot tub, which is reserved normally only for adults. And we were going to wrap it up by playing video games together. Unfortunately, once I got word that the little boys were heading back, I went into cleaning mode. (Still kicking myself for that.)

Overall, I learned that being the crafty, structured, patient Mom isn’t super realistic all the time. But that by trying to silently listen to our kids and do the things they like, they feel understood. And if having kid-sized fun every once in a while makes me a cool Mom, then that’s really just a win-win!

What kinds of fun things to you and your kiddos do for fun?

How Stay-at-Home Parents Can Build a Resume

How Stay-at-Home Parents Can Build a Resume

How can I build my resume while I’m a stay-at-home parent? 

If you’ve decided to be a stay-at-home parent, you may eventually start to panic about returning to work. Many of us have no intention of forever being a “homebody.” After all, it seems a large number of us stay-at-home parents were climbing career ladders before we decided to take that leap. You know, the one where you knew virtually sever your income so in turn you didn’t have to pay childcare costs. 

Some days stay-at-home Mom and Dads really miss their job. For me in particular, prior to motherhood, I had spent a couple years going to school nearly 20 credited hours while working two jobs. I’ve always been a dreamer, ready to take on the world. Then one morning, I woke up with a newborn baby, no place to be for the day, and supporting my husband’s military career. It was such a strange feeling!

As a stay-at-home Mom for 7 years, I feel I’ve lost years of workforce productivity, learning, refining skills, and social skills. I really missed working (even with some of the small jobs I had along the way). So, I picked up a job that I could financially get a little traction, socialize, and feel productive. But that wasn’t all I wanted to do, I wanted to do something a little bigger. 

Four years ago, we were raising two toddlers and a little baby. I was super overwhelmed and all of the stress in my life started to drag me under, along with some hormonal issues. I felt like I had no control of my life and was super weepy. A couple years later, I laid everything out in prayer and felt the urge to start blogging. I hopped on WordPress and became the owner of a website! (Which is kind of big for a Mom who focuses all day on her little ones.)

I turned off the TV, stopped scrolling social media and began to learn and set goals. Time was spent wisely learning how to set up a WordPress site, watching Susie Moore’s YouTube channel, taking notes, jotting an entire notebook full of ideas, listening to webinars, reading about blogging and SEO tips, investing in time on social media strategy, creating graphics, taking pictures, creating content, analyzing website statistics, talking to people about motherhood and blogging, etc.

Add all of those things together and you have a whole new set of skills which can be utilized at a future job. 

Depending on the areas of focus, bloggers might be able to add these to a resume. (See further below for non-blogging resume building.)

Skills you can add to a resume if you blog:

  1. Branding
  2. Writing
  3. Editing
  4. Networking
  5. Marketing
  6. Social Media Strategy
  7. Social Media Marketing
  8. Social Media Influencing
  9. Digital Photography
  10. Graphic Design
  11. Website Management
  12. Research
  13. Statistic Analysis
  14. Time management
  15. SEO

Tools & Technologies

  1. WordPress
  2. JetPack
  3. Canva
  4. Adobe Photoshop
  5. Mail Chimp

More ways to dive back in to your career

  1. Find free podcasts and webinars to learn from
  2. Be well read and up-to-date on your career field
  3. Continue network growth
  4. Learn about what your clients need
  5. Brainstorm solutions for client needs

Questions I’ve been asked about blogging:

  1. Oh wow! You blog, so you’re famous right? 
  2. How do you even make money?
  3. Are you successful?
  4. What do you write about?
  5. What are your favorite blogs?

My answers:

  1. Not yet, but if I became famous, I would be known for helping other Moms through their struggles and that would be more rewarding.
  2. I don’t pay myself./ I can easily do affiliate marketing, which is selling other companies’ products, but I don’t want to dilute my blog. If I would monetize my blog, I would create my own product which would be a useful tool for Moms.
  3. If you count success in the perspective of numbers, I don’t have 10,000 readers yet, but I’ve had over 2,000 people read my blog in one day. I’ve also reached over half a million people on Pinterest in one month with organic reach (using advice from Susie Moore). But, in terms of reaching my own success goals, maybe I am successful. I’ve positively impacted so many people around me and I’ve seen them fired up about life! I just want to continue impacting other people!
  4. Before Momma Bird Blog’s re-brand, I wrote about all parenting lifestyle. At the beginning of 2019, I tweaked my niche to motivating Moms and health/wellness. The most popular articles on MBB are about Mom guilt, Motherhood quotes, and Essential oils.
  5. I have a growing list of favorite blogs/vlogs, but here are my top 10- Military Moms Blog, Scary Mommy, Wellness Mama, Motherly, HuffPost, Her View From Home, That’s Inappropriate, Start a Mom Blog, Kristina Kuzmic, Juggling the Jenkins, and so many more!

Other ideas to earn an income:

Blogging may not be key for you, but there are plenty other options! I’ve researched so many work-at-home jobs over the years that it’s not even funny. So many of the jobs are in analysis, medical coding, and customer service calling. If those don’t work, you could open your home for childcare, take senior pictures, open an Etsy shop, or do various freelance work.

Maybe you just need a part-time job that you can be available for when your spouse is off from work. Open a LinkedIn account and start building your resume. Soon, you’ll start seeing open job opportunities that suite you. Maybe you have something close to home that would interest you.

Over all, one of the best things I did for myself as a stay-at home Mom was to start learning and setting career-type goals. At the time, it didn’t seem like a Mom who was overwhelmed to tears should start a blog. I’m proud of what I’ve worked so hard to learn! Now I feel more prepared to enter back into a career field of my choosing!

What skills do you personally need to have for the career you want?

Comment below with your blog website and goals or various ways that you’ve been able to add to your resume while staying home!

From Girls To Motherhood (To The Best Mom Friends)

From Girls To Motherhood (To The Best Mom Friends)

Growing up as little girls was a hard life. We thought our “BFFs” would always have our back. But that wasn’t the case for a lot of us girls.

A girls world is hard! There was gossip, sharing secrets that weren’t to be shared, stealing boyfriends, stealing friends, jealousy, trying to outshine each other for popularity, and throwing each other under the bus. (Like metaphorically, but also pretty much everything from “Mean Girls” is truth.)


Photo by Paloma A. on Unsplash

Who could we even trust?

Maybe a close friend or two along the way. The best friends from grade school, the ladies from jr high and high school, and the ones from college. Most friendships never lasted longer than a particular phase of life. Except you.

From time-to-time we may have gotten annoyed with one another. But when circumstances were difficult, we were more annoyed for each other. You were sad for me when I was. You were happy when I was.


Photo by Clarisse Meyer on Unsplash

We grew up. And you were still there.

We fell in love with our guys. And our whole lives changed. We started having babies. And it was magical.

We were mommies for the first time and our little families were just another reminder of how good the world is. Little family snuggles on the bed. Little baby smiles. Little coos. Our faith in humanity was restored.

You were there watching the magic for me, cheering me on, loving my little ones like your own. I mean, you are the cool aunt after all! You told me how good of a mom I am and it always made me feel like a million dollars. 

And I watched you make your own little magic appear. Your little family. And I love your babies like my own. You were rocking the mom-thing since before you were a mom! Like born ready!

As our little families are growing, and things getting tougher; potty training, more kids, busy schedules, disciplining…. You’re still there, sister. We can vent about a rough day or about how emotional we are from sleep deprivation. We can visit each other and make it a play date. Even if the kids are being way too loud, we still enjoy some coffee or wine over a chat.

And I love that in this crazy thing called motherhood, we still have each other’s back. It’s so good having a life outside of my home. But it’s also good being a part of your life, too!

I know your struggles and I wish I could do more to help. I see your exhaustion and I want to make it better. But I know that for us, just having a long chat or visiting is the greatest therapy! I feel brand new after hanging up the phone or heading out your door.

I appreciate you so much, girl. All the times you thought of me, called me up, offered to help with the kids, went out of your way for me, each kind word, every hug, every time you lifted my fallen-self up….

It took me some years to realize what a true friend really is, and I have that with you. Because you’ve seen the best and worst of me. The days when I know I’m supermom and the days when I’m borderline psychotic. 😆

Yet, there’s never been a time when we were gossiping behind each other’s backs, stealing friends, or throwing each other under the bus. Instead we fantasize together about a girls only cruise or doing a double family vacation. We see more in each other than a mom and wife and we support each other’s dreams.

One day when I’m wealthy, we’re going to go on a Caribbean cruise, just us. Drinking cocktails and hanging out in the sun. Ah…the life!

But for now, girls trip or not, your friendship means the world to me! Your ability to to lift me up when I’ve fallen. When I just need another adult to converse with. When I’m wondering if what I’m going through is normal. When I’m tired and just want someone to hear me. Anyone. It’s you. Without judgement.

You understand me so much because you often feel the same way. Or at least you know because you were in the same place not long ago. 

There is something special about mom friends. Maybe it’s because we can motivate each other easily. Maybe it’s our occasional heart-to-hearts. Maybe it’s our conversations about God and faith.

All I can say is thank you for being my emotional rock through the good and bad. Thank you for reminding me that I am a good mom with sometimes bad days and that perfection is rare.

And thank you for loving my family.

(& Happy International Women’s Day!:D )

What Mom Really Wants for Mother’s Day

What Mom Really Wants for Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a big deal for us moms! After all, many agree that becoming a mom brought purpose to our lives.

While Moms appreciate gestures or gifts, what most of us want is even more meaningful. A day to feel special. A day to really feel like our families appreciate us.

Continue reading “What Mom Really Wants for Mother’s Day”

Mamas loving mamas (by EdenCo)

Mamas loving mamas (by EdenCo)

As Moms, we face challenges that no one may even ever know about. And the truth is, being a parent is hard. Sometimes we just need that extra love and support.

Here is the story of a Mom on a mission. This Etsy shop owner designs gorgeous hand lettered cards which are crafted with a special purpose in mind. “Mamas loving mamas.”

Continue reading “Mamas loving mamas (by EdenCo)”