The ultimate Parenthood goals are making sweet memories while raising orderly human beings.
Sometimes…. Ok, most days, things don’t go according to a parent’s plans. Being on time, the whole family fashioning a good look, owning a home that only needs cleaned once a week, and kids that never whine. These are what parents’ dreams are made of!
Social media perceptions can sometimes cause moms to be extra insecure. No one really talks about the struggles.
However, if you use Twitter, you’ll read several relatable, sarcastic, and entertaining tweets about parenting. Instead of questioning what you’re doing wrong in your home, you’ll feel right at home.
There are really too many good tweets to pick from. Out of hundreds, these 10 are among my favorites!
1. Perfect-ish Family
All the parents standing around at BBQ’s and parties.
Nothing brings me more joy than the family I constantly complain about.
1. Wash 2. Forget to move to dryer 3. Rewash the now smelly clothes 4. Move to dryer 5. Repeat steps 1-4 6. Dry both loads together 7. Rerun dryer for wrinkles 8. Move to basket 9. Fail to fold 10. Move back to dryer
I think it’s safe to say that no one is the perfect parent. And any given day even the most motivated mom or dad can try to plan for the perfect day. But we’d be fools to expect a mess-free, whine-free, energetic, fun-filled non-stop 18+ years.
At least we have Twitter to share our experiences with. But these hilarious parents’ daily struggles just crack me up!
If you don’t stay at home with your kids, you probably have your own assumptions about the gig. Some look down on stay-at-home moms while some admire SAHMs. Let’s clear a few things up!
According to Forbes, staying home is popular among millenials for a variety of reasons. The gist of it is that mothers are looking to swap working away from home with work at home opportunities or “pinching pennies.”
In the article, “How Much Does Child Care Cost?”, Care.com states that 32% of families spend over 20% of their annual household income on child care. According to this source, the cost of child care deeply impacts families ranging from parents changing careers to parents not being able to afford it.
I’ve been a Stay-at-Home-Mom now for over 6 years. In that time, I’ve worked very hard at preparing our kids for preschool and maintaining the household. All while needing to defend myself. As if moms already need to be judged any more for the way we raise our families! Popular beliefs or myths are pretty much the only thing separating what others think goes on, and what it’s really like!
10 Myths About Stay-at-Home Moms
10. It’s easy
It’s true that SAHMs don’t have to rush to the babysitter to drop their little ones off for work, spend a majority of the day away from their families, and rush home to get dinner started. However, the challenges of keeping a bunch of kiddos entertained all day, cleaning the house while it gets wrecked, and still getting dinner on the table is no easy feat!
9. SAHMs don’t have degrees or a higher education
Even degree-holding moms have to make an important decision. Follow career or press the pause button. Higher education doesn’t always equal higher pay in the career field. Sometimes the logistics of staying home are for personal reasons, and sometimes it’s a matter of cost-effectiveness.
8. No dreams and aspirations
Very much like #9, moms who stay home have long term plans. We know our families won’t always need us in the same way. We look forward to our futures and checkmarking items off of career goals or bucket lists.
7. SAHMs are wealthy
The occupation is manageable with an average family. As long as the one income can meet the needs of the family, staying home is sustainable. In the long run, there are sacrifices of luxury in order to focus solely on the needs of the household. SAHMs budget, budget, budget!
6. SAHMs are lazy
Assumptions are made that SAHMs aren’t busy and that they sit around all day. But truth be told, trying to keep a bunch of kids out of trouble, fed, bathed, entertained, and off to bed is hard, busy work. Isn’t is true for any mom that once you sit down your kids need something?
5. Mom does all the parenting
Some people believe mom does (or should do all the housework) and child care because she’s not making an income (even when dad’s home). In all fairness, moms are built to nurture their families. But moms are built to be a team with dad including sharing chores, handling bills, and both parents being equally involved are all important.
4. Always home
One of the main things SAHMs do is drive their families around. Doctor appointments, errands, to and from school, someone to show up at school events, to and from extra cirriculars like sports, play dates, visiting grandma, the library, birthday parties, etc… similar to the working mom.
3. Don’t contribute financially
The VeryWellFamily.com says stay-at-home moms would be paid 143,000 per year if paid for all of their services. If the budget is still tight after all those savings, Moms have more opportunities to work out of home. Some legit jobs include writing, photography, coding, transcribing, sales, and more. Currently one trend is to sell essential oils or teeth whiteners, all while staying home with the kids.
2. Not stressful
We may be flexible when it comes to time management. However, one of our biggest stressors is budgeting everything well and coming up with alternatives (for projects, activities, and meals). Sometimes a project or trip will have to wait if it can’t fit in the budget. Staying at home can also be tough on a mom’s social and emotional needs.
1. Always love our job
If you can happily do anything while sleep deprived, then go you! But for most parents, we’re tired, our job never ends, and we’re also really good at judging ourselves. Sometimes that gets in the way of enjoying the job.
Who works harder?
Not all jobs are equal. And not all families are equal.
In the end, we’re all the same. Working moms and Stay-at-Home-Moms face similar challenges. We’re facing issues with our kids listening to us, cleaning up after themselves, and having them finish homework. We’re tired, we’ve repeated ourselves one too many times, and we we all just wish life was a little easier.
Working mom or Stay-at-Home Mom, we love our families more than anything. We’re all really just doing what we deem best. Over all, our families depend on us, whichever path we choose.
As a stay-at-home mom of 6 years, I made it my job to find ways to guide our family in the frugal lifestyle. Because you know, if you’re not making an income (alongside your spouse), the best you can do is save it and stretch it.
In 6 years time we haven’t gone on any fancy family vacations, we hardly dine out, and we even get picky with our monthly bills and groceries. I don’t get my hair or nails done. Not even a hired babysitter.
It was a challenge living on one income, but we made it work. We had everything we needed.
So, what happened when my husband took a job that paid less? Well, I promised I’d do whatever it took to make the difference up, if not more. So, I applied to a weekend job near home. Because of my husband (Steven)’s job and military obligations, I’m not able to work much (when it comes to making sure one of us is home with the kids).
When I took this part-time job, I realized that it was actually freeing as a (mostly) stay-at-home mom. I began to have a purpose outside of home and more importantly, I started getting more adult socialization. And on top of that, it’s comforting to have a little extra income.
Then, this weekend happened. I was scheduled to work when my husband was on orders. And the grandparents were all busy with their weekend plans, living their own lives as they should. And I had never hired a babysitter before. I panicked.
How do you even find a babysitter?
I can’t even afford the babysitters on care.com and I wasn’t about to ask just anyone. So my in-laws suggested a friend to help me search. She asked around at Youth Group at our church and soon enough, someone was interested.
Leading up to work, I had been slightly nervous, wondering:
How will our new babysitter and my boys feel about each other?
Will it be weird to leave them with someone I don’t know much about?
Will the boys behave?
Will they be busy and have fun?
Will I get an emergency call at work?
And will she enjoy it enough to come back?
Then, this nice girl shows up at our house and I introduced myself and the kids to her. I show her around, show her the list of phone numbers, rules, and things to keep busy.
And I was certain there would be one kid clinging to me as I ran out of the door. Our youngest had just woken up and wanted me to hold him. Weirdly enough, without a cue, he ran over to her, hands upward, to be picked up. Such a good feeling!
I called Steven on my quick little drive to tell him that I officially left the house! It was exciting! It was freeing!
When I came home I discovered that the kids were busy THE ENTIRE TIME! They had so much fun with the new babysitter that they were begging me to have her over again! They also went to bed easy that night and slept in later than usual the next morning.
My husband and I got thinking we should’ve had a babysitter all along, because now we can:
Go on dates when grandparents can’t babysit
Have someone watch the kids so I can run errands (if Steven’s on orders)
Make appointments at the bank, car dealerships, and other financial institutions
Go Christmas shopping alone
Both potentially work the same day
The biggest realization of hiring a babysitter is WOW! WHAT A DIFFERENCE! For our whole family! I’ve been living under a rock for 6 years!
Babysitters are a blessing to families because while they care for our kids, they have energy to play with our kids that we sometimes don’t, and they make great role-models.
Regardless of your situation, it’s definitely worth finding someone to hire at least every once in a while! Just think of what you could do with the extra help! Back in my babysitting days, I was hired for regular date nights, a day for mom to tend the garden, and once a week so the parents could take dance lessons.
On our Facebook page, Mommas Group, one topic Moms struggle with is babysitters. After some research, care.com is useful, but not all moms feel comfortable using the site. Not to mention, the cost calculator. Moms in our region don’t typically pay $15 or $20 an hour for care.
To join this conversation, please comment below how you found your babysitter, your region, and what you pay. If you don’t have a babysitter yet, what are your questions and concerns?
Mother’s Day is a big deal for us moms! Afterall, many agree that becoming a mom brought purpose to our lives.
While Moms appreciate gestures or gifts, what most of us want is even more meaningful. A day to feel special. A day to really feel like our families appreciate us.
Maybe a day to sleep in, not lift a finger, and good behavior. No cooking or cleaning. No changing diapers. No going anywhere. Just sitting out in the sun with a drink in hand. Being surrounded by our families. Sounds nice to me anyways! 😀
Every year since our oldest has been in school, the teachers have helped the kids make Mother’s Day gifts. These are by far my favorite! In preschool, he painted wooden cutout flowers. This year, the kids worked on something even more simple that really touched my heart!
They made giant construction paper cards with one side devoted to painted hand-print flowers. The other side is “All about Mom.”
The close-up reads:
“Let me tell you about my mom.
My mom is 32 years old.
She likes to sit on the couch.
The best thing she cooks is eggs.
Her favorite food is Chinese food.
Her favorite thing to do to relax is to sleep.
We like to spin together.
She is really good at cleaning the house.
As you can see, my mom is special because she plays with me.
His answers are pretty close anyways. Definitely had me smiling because it’s so cute!
As a Mom, this is special for so many reasons. I love his little hand-prints. And I love that he took time to think about why I am so special to him. This masterpiece made my week!
Like many moms, I struggle to feel like I’m doing a good enough job.
No matter how much moms do for their families, often, we feel like we aren’t good enough. It’s so hard to keep up with it all. It’s no wonder!
We balance school, work, chores, extra circulars, church, marriage, family time, health, emotion, routines, fun, and hey, even the checkbook. We have all the in between jobs from driving the kids to the doctor, and making sure everyone has clean underwear. We multitask so much that we can’t even remember what we accomplished all day. Meeting our family’s basic needs consist of so many extra steps that are forgotten about like putting a meal on the table. I mean, I can’t be the only mom who plans out a grocery list all week, and plan dinner starting in the morning hours.
Thinking back to my childhood, all I remember was playing and having fun. I remember my mom showing up to every baseball game. Every school event. Every appointment. She made time to play toothfairy. She read us so many books. And with that excited narration too! She admired our works of art. Made our beds. Cleaned the house in any bit of free time she had. She balanced everything, with what appeared to look like a breeze. And somewhow she was amazingly patient with us. All. The. Time.
And when I became a Mom, I thought, “well if she raised 4 of us, I’ll certainly do fine with less kids.” With three little boys, I look at my mom now, with a much deeper appreciation. Now I experience the restless nights, worrying about a fever when the kids are sick. I worry about balancing second chances with discipline. I worry when I’ve forgotten show-and-tell or a special dress-up day at school. And I worry if I’m giving all of the kids equal attention and meeting all of their emotional needs. And how on Earth do you squeeze in that extra time with your spouse to let them know you still care?
Moms have such a hard job! We face so many challenges, even our own thoughts and feelings. So stop putting yourself down. You might not be the perfect mom you always thought you’d be. But look at what you do in one day. Look at what you’ve accomplished.
You are the kisser of boo-boos, the tickle monster, the dance partner, the snack attendant, the potty train praiser, infant interpreter, the pusher of swings, dignified driver, the walking “why” responder, the artist appreciator, the mountain of laundry climber, and so much more!
If only you could see yourself in the eyes and hearts of your family!
Gift your mom something really nice for Mother’s Day to show her how much you care! Then let her know how special she is and how much you appreciate her often!
Here’s a quick video on the topic of how mom’s view themselves VS how kids view their moms. It made me cry, so be sure to have a box of tissues nearby!
Recently, we talked how we can rejuvenate ourselves. It’s important to eat nutrient-rich food, but it’s so hard when you’re a busy parent!
Here are 3 easy salads that make a healthy lunch or dinner!
First you need a good lettuce blend. I like to chop up some iceberg lettuce and mix it with spinach or spring mix. I toss them into my salad spinner, rinse, spin, and drain. I leave my spinner (basket insert and all) in the fridge. Then each time I want something quick, I have a salad base.
Then, all you have to do is top it with a favorite salad flavor!
Can be easy made with leftover chicken or beef. This was made with leftover smoked venison. I was just working with ingredients we had at the time, but a southwest salad can be so versatile. You can always add extra favorites like diced tomatoes, onions, avocados, and a dollop of sour cream! YUM!
Spinach & Strawberry
This is so simple! I love to add fresh fruit to salads to really amp up flavor and nutrition. For color, and added sweetness, I made a simple homemade honey mustard dressing. Would you add anything else to this?
Almond + Blueberries
Again, fruit is such a flavor and nutrition enhancer! Almonds are a nice little touch of lean protein. Add a little bit of cheese to make a bit more filling. This maple vinaigrette was the perfect touch!
There you have it! 3 Simple Salads! The best part is you can set your salad base in the fridge, and pop out new and exciting salad flavors every day.
Now you don’t have to eat the every day hot dogs and chicken nuggets with your kiddos. This will give you a bit more energy than those anyways!
What kind of combos will you end up making this week?
“Frugal” can be explained as stingy, penny-pinching, and tight. But for those with the conservative lifestyle, the word has an entirely different ring to it; thrifty, economical, and resourceful.
It could explain the type of person who likes freebies, when in fact nothing is actually free. Everything costs someone; labor, shipping, ideas, and just solid goods in general.
But for most, “frugal” is a mentality of prioritizing, saving, and getting extra creative when you can’t have everything.
My family has learned the art of being frugal over a span of 6 years. In 2012 my husband and I were expecting our first baby, near the time of his second deployment. So I made the easy decision then, to quit work. As our family expanded, I continued to stay home. We always made it work, despite the occasional challenges. I feel strongly in being a part of our kids’ early childhood development and learning. And my husband’s been even more on-board after finding out what child care costs!
As a stay-at-home mom, I always felt like I wanted to contribute more. Finally 3 kids later, I’ve been able to take a couple of gigs that still allow me to be home 6-7 days a week. However, one of the best ways to contribute as a stay-at-home mom is to save a little cash. I wish I had stumbled upon an informative blog post then about frugal living.
I’m not a financial adviser, but here are some creative ways to help you save:
Tips for saving:
Monthly bills: Understand needs from wants
Needs: housing, electricity, propane, water, car(s), insurance, gas, phone(s), nutritional food, and medical services…
Keep tomato paste on hand for pizza sauce, spaghetti sauce, and tomato-based sauces/dips, sloppy joes…
Know how to make other sauces- Alfredo sauce is so easy!
Freeze juices of beef/pork roast, slow cooker chicken, or ham… (use in soup later)
Boil the bones from your chicken, turkey, ham, etc. with water to make stock
Refrigerate bacon grease drippings to substitute butter in savory dishes
Divide those packs of chicken and freeze individually (use 1 breast per meal)
Same for hamburger (I divide this into 1/2 lbs for when it’s just me and the kids)
Meat is expensive, divide other roasts as well
Grind up crusty bread to substitute panko or add to meatballs
Freshen up leftovers by combining them to make a new dish
Use browned fruits in smoothies, cooked oatmeal, or make a bread from it
Other areas to be frugal: How to get some help/support
Gladly take hand-me down clothes, furniture, or appliances from a close friend or family member who doesn’t need them any more! My sister gives us all of the clothes my nephew’s grown out of. Thanks Sis! 😉
Give your items that aren’t being used a new home. Or make some cash selling them for a low price online, or selling them at a second-hand shop.
Instead of buying new books or movies, borrow from your local library
Grow a garden in Spring (& share abundance with friends and family)
Know about the free/low cost events/attractions near you including neat parks
Know what other resources/benefits are available to you
That’s all for now!
There’s no shame in being resourceful or even asking for help from the right people. Just remember, that is their sacrifice to you. It’s a wonderful ability to reach out among humankind. I believe we were all made to lean on each other sooner or later.
Part of raising a family is sometimes needing to sacrifice. It’s hard because we can’t do it all. And even if we can afford it, we don’t have time for all of it.
Frugal living is just sacrificing for now. You’re just investing in yourself and your family.
You love your family so dearly. No one else could ever love them like you. From the moment you knew you were expecting your entire life changed. You were cautious, you were always at the doctor, you had to eat a certain way, you swapped out your favorite wardrobe, and you could feel everything emotionally and physically that bonded you to your baby.
Now your baby is a full of curiosity, abilities, and a big personality. You look forward to seeing their bright little smiles first thing in the morning. You love having a chat that the both of you can understand. You love when they bring something to show you. Or the times when they climb into your lap and snuggle, even for a minute.
But lets face it, as your kiddo(s) gets older, and gain independence, things start to get tricky. They try to rewrite the rules. They think your standards are up for negotiation. They forget their manners. And when they get hungry or tired, their emotion comes out like hot lava.
So for the less memorable parts of your every day, when you feel that you are coming unglued, know that you are doing just fine.
The days when you literally slept 5 hours overnight and you cried like your 2-year-old. The days when you had to yell to get your kid’s attention because you needed to be heard. The days when you are so tired of feeling like you are putting in your all and watching it get shredded apart. The days when you feel lost as a person because you gave everything up for your family. You gave so much, you feel mentally worn out.
You ask yourself what you did wrong. What happened?
The answer? Nothing. You changed. You grew as a parent. And you still wildly love your kiddos. Just because you have needs, doesn’t make you any less of a parent.
Get more sleep. (You need 7-9 hours of sleep according to helpguide.com). Don’t forget to eat. Healthy food. Often. You need your family to respect you. To hear you. You need them to chip in around the house. And you need to do things for yourself.
Do something for yourself, even if it seems silly. You deserve it!
Crank up your favorite Pandora station, pick up an old hobby, go see your best girl friend, go shopping with your mom and sister, have that glass of wine at the end of the night. And do not feel guilty about doing those, even if the house is the same disaster that it’s been all day.
Raising kids is hard. And not hard in the fact that we don’t think we can’t do it. Hard, in the fact that we feel that we can’t be the parent we want to be.
Stop comparing yourself to who you want to be. Look at what you have overcome. Look at your special relationship with your family. And just know that you are doing just fine. Really.