To the Stay-At-Home Mom

Hey there stay-at-home mom,

I think I know you just a little better than you realize.

I know that those little eyes looking up into your soul is your fuel. I know that you delight in every new milestone that your little one accomplishes! I know that you are filling your memory bank with pictures of sunshine in your sweetie’s hair and the mental recordings of her laughter. “I’m going to remember this for the rest of my life,” you tell yourself.

I know your maternity leave may have never quite ended or that you quit working for various reasons to be home. I know you pour your heart and soul into this job.

Even as your babies grew up, you still couldn’t sleep well through the night. You still have urges to make sure they’re all still breathing and well. You get such little sleep some nights, even though you’re wrecked. You spend all day making mental notes and trying to stay on everyone else’s schedules. You focus on child development, health, nutrition, cleaning, and bills, and some days forget to fill your memory bank. Or do something nice for yourself even.

Regular days you play referee to break up your kid’s fighting. If you’re not breaking up fights, you’re repeating yourself to your kids. “They totally heard me,” you say. And all that can turn into a lot of yelling.

Just a little while before your husband comes home you realize all of your hard work appears to have evaporated into thin air. The nutritional breakfast/lunch is on the dinning room floor, the dishes are stacked high again, the laundry train lost it’s caboose, for every one mess you picked up there’s another 10, the fight you broke up is now back in full swing, and now you’re husband is going to see. So we panic that our husband will think we we’re lazy all day and we stress clean.

You hide the dishes in the dishwasher and clothes in the washer. At some point you just don’t care about the mess any more because you’re tired and defeated. You’ve spent all day feeling isolated, tired, and irritated.

This life is all you now know. And no one told you it’d be so tough!

No one told you that you would feel this pressure to be a good mom, even when no one else is even around. No one told you that you would feel lonely in your own home, surrounded by your minis. No one told you that it’s almost scary to wake up one day and realize you don’t have anywhere to be. No one else that needs you more than your children.

No one told you that you boarded the struggle bus with your own worst critic. You.

I never realized how all of those tough days would sneak up on me and make me feel so small. I never realized the weight of it all until I opened up about it. And I never realized how similar my feelings were to other moms until other people started opening up about it.

Motherhood is the most beautiful thing to happen in your life, but the most demanding. I know it may not seem the way you pictured it. I know it’s full of days when you wish you could work or that you hope the kids would become more independent sooner.

In 7 years time, this is what I learned about motherhood (especially being a Stay-at-home mom):

  • I felt most successful when I gave my kids the most attention
  • I always criticized myself, even when I didn’t use social media
  • I read so many expert tips and I felt like I tried everything, when I should’ve just used my motherly instinct
  • The whole mom-thing is literally just winging it
  • Surround yourself with positive vibes
  • People will tell you it goes fast, but you won’t believe it until your kids are bigger
  • You should be your husband’s best friend, but you will still need a mom friend (or 2) to vent with. A lot!
  • If you have to choose between a clean house or sanity, always choose sanity (mental breaks and extra rest)
  • Take care of your basic needs as well as you do the rest of your family
  • You don’t always have to listen to your kids’ music or watch their shows. Make them do what you like sometimes
  • If you can find a part time job outside of home, even like 3-4 hours a week, take it!
  • Plan girls days 2-3 weeks ahead because you will literally never get to keep plans if not.
  • Also dates. Go on dates more than once a year. And plan those out 2-3 weeks early too!
  • Hire a babysitter, even if it’s to get your hair done.
  • Treat yourself more! I almost never did things for myself. I started to feel more motivated when I had things to look forward to.
  • Call up your mom to talk. It’s such good therapy!!
  • Take help when it’s offered.
  • Find ways to record good memories, whether a journal to your kids for when they grow up, candid pictures, or videos of them being happy. Then just brain dump the days of yelling.
  • Look back on these recordings when you’re blood pressure is through the roof. You’ll just be looking through pictures thinking of how sweet your babies are.
  • Being a good mom holds a lot of pressure. You don’t always have to hold it together. Grow your faith!
  • And lastly, don’t let someone’s idea of you define you. You are so much more!

We do so much around our homes, but it never feels like enough. We always question how we’ve done as a mom. Somehow with how busy we are, it can feel like our lives are somehow incomplete. There is always still more to do. 

To those of you wondering if you’re a good mom, or when you will ever even fit into your own schedule-

I once read a simple quote, “you are enough.” It changed my whole thinking and gave me a sense of peace.

Enough with the mom guilt. Enough with believing what people think of us. Enough with not giving ourselves something to look forward to.

You are enough. Start believing it!

Photo by (Unsplash user): Omar Lopez

10 Powerful Quotes For Tired Moms

10 Powerful Quotes For Tired Moms

As a mom of three, people often laugh that my boys keep me on my toes. But no, seriously, that’s an understatement. And like any mom, I get really mentally and emotionally burnt out. 

Raising kids isn’t easy. And if you’re dealing with other stressors like mental health, maybe a time-consuming career, or financial burdens, it just starts to weigh you down.

And moms tend to conceal their heartache and struggles well, which is totally unserstandable. But so many of us are going through similar challenges. 

I really just want to share some inspiring quotes to lift you up. Even though this is just a phase of life, I know it doesn’t feel like it some days. But you got this momma! 

Continue reading “10 Powerful Quotes For Tired Moms”

10 Funny Tweets About Parenthood

10 Funny Tweets About Parenthood

Parenthood is so far from easy.  And perfection is miles away. It’s hard to own a home (and one that’s always clean), look put together, be on time with the whole family, and have kids that never whine. These are what parents’ dreams are made of!

Social media perceptions can sometimes cause moms to be extra insecure. No one really talks about the struggles.

However, if you use Twitter, you’ll read several relatable, sarcastic, and entertaining  tweets about parenting. Instead of questioning what you’re doing wrong in your home, you’ll feel right at home.

Continue reading “10 Funny Tweets About Parenthood”

10 Myths About the Stay-at-Home-Mom

10 Myths About the Stay-at-Home-Mom
Photo by Travis Grossen on Unsplash

If you don’t stay at home with your kids, you probably have your own assumptions about the gig. Some look down on stay-at-home moms while some admire SAHMs. Let’s clear a few things up!

According to Forbes, staying home is popular among millenials for a variety of reasons. The gist of it is that mothers are looking to swap working away from home with work at home opportunities or “pinching pennies.”

Continue reading “10 Myths About the Stay-at-Home-Mom”

To the Mom Who Needs Strength Now

To the Mom Who Needs Strength Now

Momma, 

Your job is a hard one. It has been a hard job for all mothers, for all of time! 

Our shift is 24/7 with no sick days. We’re on call in the middle of the night and early mornings. Our brains run at super speeds. All. The. Time.

We face challenges that leave us feeling helpless and out of control. And then we continue to blame ourselves for still not doing a good enough job.

Life is overwhelming no matter how much you seem to accomplish. Do you feel this way?

Continue reading “To the Mom Who Needs Strength Now”