10 Affirmations For Mom Guilt

10 Affirmations For Mom Guilt

There is one main message I think that Moms need to hear, but often don’t hear enough, it’s that you matter. In the midst of your messy home, in your messy bun, wearing yesterday’s pajamas, where you often lose your cool, you feel so unaccomplished. Yet, you’ve accomplished everything!

Your kids know your unconditional love in all that you do. Regardless of the mom guilt that you’re seemingly tied to.

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My own way of explaining mom guilt: “our inner dialogue which conflicts with our original decision regardless of our good intention.”

Mom guilt is the real deal. As moms we question how good of a job we’re doing. A lot of it is really just fear. We know we are well intended. We just want to know that our decisions aren’t negatively affecting our children. The truth of the matter is we need to stop being so hard on ourselves.

No human being on Earth is perfect. Therefore, we need to stop pressuring ourselves to the impossible standard of perfection. These 10 affirmations can help you to put perfection behind you and help you to find more joy in motherhood.

Remind yourself of these 10 things daily!

10 Affirmations for mom guilt:

1. I matter.

2. I’m worthy of good things.

3. I am strong.

4. I am loved.

5. I love myself.

6. I am a good mom already because I love my kids.

7. There are a million ways to be a good mom. / I am making decisions for the best interest of my family.

8. It’s not my job to be perfect, but to show my kids grace and forgiveness.

9. I forgive myself for my failures.

10. God has called me to motherhood. Through Him I can do all things.

Happy Thursday!

10 Affirmations For The Oldest Sibling

10 Affirmations For The Oldest Sibling

Our oldest son, Chirs, turned 7 years old yesterday! Holy cow! I never thought I would look back and think that raising kids goes quick! I literally don’t know the day of the week most days, nor do I feel like the past 7 years has been all rainbows and unicorns. But, wow! Suddenly 7 years seems to have slipped past me!

Life was delightful when our duo turned trio. My memory bank is filled with images of my little boy’s smile and breathing in his sweet baby smell during our snuggles. Even before he could crawl, he was my dance partner (particularly brought back by the good oldies like Frank Sinatra).

Like all firstborns, ours was totally the guinea pig. We based our confidence in our parenting skills on him; if he ate well, if he was developmentally on track, if he had enough responsibilities, if he used his manners…

Because life was peachy we tried for more kids. We thought we would treat all if them equal, but funny thing is we lowered our standards for the next kid. And the next kid. We (particularly I) didn’t worry as much about near as much with the younger boys. After all of the parenting experience with Chris, we knew the things to avoid and areas to improve in.

Along the way he’s sensed the standard depreciation gap.

When our family became 4, I saw his whole world change. So long were the days when I could drop everything for him. When our middle son, Josh, wasn’t nursing I still had little energy to give. But I wanted to show Chris that clearly, he was still important to me. So when baby was napping, we would play baseball. A lot of baseball. It was our thing, among many others.

By the time our youngest son, Aaron, came in to the picture, Chris was only 3. Yep we had a 3 year-old, 1 year-old, and newborn at one point. Thank goodness Chris was away at preschool by then because sleep deprivation was so bad! But having an older kid was legit so nice by then! Cue promotion to diaper-getter, baby-entertainer, and toy picker-upper.

It seems as though the firstborn kids are naturally the glue to their siblings, natural-born teachers, and some very caring people! So I compiled a list of 10 affirmations for the oldest kids.

  1. I am so special.
  2. I have many unique talents.
  3. My mom and dad love me for who I am!
  4. My family can count on me. /I am helpful.
  5. I am capable of anything that I put my mind to.
  6. Change is okay.
  7. I am enough./ I am good.
  8. I am a leader. /My siblings look up to me.
  9. Mistakes help me grow.
  10. I love and accept myself.

These affirmations are things I’m teaching my oldest son in particular. He plays an important role in our family. We love that we can count on him and we wouldn’t be the same without him.

From Girls To Motherhood (To The Best Mom Friends)

From Girls To Motherhood (To The Best Mom Friends)

Growing up as little girls was a hard life. We thought our “BFFs” would always have our back. But that wasn’t the case for a lot of us girls.

A girls world is hard! There was gossip, sharing secrets that weren’t to be shared, stealing boyfriends, stealing friends, jealousy, trying to outshine each other for popularity, and throwing each other under the bus. (Like metaphorically, but also pretty much everything from “Mean Girls” is truth.)


Photo by Paloma A. on Unsplash

Who could we even trust?

Maybe a close friend or two along the way. The best friends from grade school, the ladies from jr high and high school, and the ones from college. Most friendships never lasted longer than a particular phase of life. Except you.

From time-to-time we may have gotten annoyed with one another. But when circumstances were difficult, we were more annoyed for each other. You were sad for me when I was. You were happy when I was.


Photo by Clarisse Meyer on Unsplash

We grew up. And you were still there.

We fell in love with our guys. And our whole lives changed. We started having babies. And it was magical.

We were mommies for the first time and our little families were just another reminder of how good the world is. Little family snuggles on the bed. Little baby smiles. Little coos. Our faith in humanity was restored.

You were there watching the magic for me, cheering me on, loving my little ones like your own. I mean, you are the cool aunt after all! You told me how good of a mom I am and it always made me feel like a million dollars. 

And I watched you make your own little magic appear. Your little family. And I love your babies like my own. You were rocking the mom-thing since before you were a mom! Like born ready!

As our little families are growing, and things getting tougher; potty training, more kids, busy schedules, disciplining…. You’re still there, sister. We can vent about a rough day or about how emotional we are from sleep deprivation. We can visit each other and make it a play date. Even if the kids are being way too loud, we still enjoy some coffee or wine over a chat.

And I love that in this crazy thing called motherhood, we still have each other’s back. It’s so good having a life outside of my home. But it’s also good being a part of your life, too!

I know your struggles and I wish I could do more to help. I see your exhaustion and I want to make it better. But I know that for us, just having a long chat or visiting is the greatest therapy! I feel brand new after hanging up the phone or heading out your door.

I appreciate you so much, girl. All the times you thought of me, called me up, offered to help with the kids, went out of your way for me, each kind word, every hug, every time you lifted my fallen-self up….

It took me some years to realize what a true friend really is, and I have that with you. Because you’ve seen the best and worst of me. The days when I know I’m supermom and the days when I’m borderline psychotic. 😆

Yet, there’s never been a time when we were gossiping behind each other’s backs, stealing friends, or throwing each other under the bus. Instead we fantasize together about a girls only cruise or doing a double family vacation. We see more in each other than a mom and wife and we support each other’s dreams.

One day when I’m wealthy, we’re going to go on a Caribbean cruise, just us. Drinking cocktails and hanging out in the sun. Ah…the life!

But for now, girls trip or not, your friendship means the world to me! Your ability to to lift me up when I’ve fallen. When I just need another adult to converse with. When I’m wondering if what I’m going through is normal. When I’m tired and just want someone to hear me. Anyone. It’s you. Without judgement.

You understand me so much because you often feel the same way. Or at least you know because you were in the same place not long ago. 

There is something special about mom friends. Maybe it’s because we can motivate each other easily. Maybe it’s our occasional heart-to-hearts. Maybe it’s our conversations about God and faith.

All I can say is thank you for being my emotional rock through the good and bad. Thank you for reminding me that I am a good mom with sometimes bad days and that perfection is rare.

And thank you for loving my family.

(& Happy International Women’s Day!:D )

How To Do A Mental Detox (20 Ways)

How To Do A Mental Detox (20 Ways)

Stress is 1,000x harder to hide from when you’re a mom (or dad). You just feel so overwhelmed and you’re well aware that you can’t just shake the feeling. I mean, you let the laundry pile up and then tomorrow there’s a mountain of clothes to fold! Let the kids play on their own for 10 minutes, and suddenly your house looks a hurricane hit.

Sometimes we just need to feel like our lives aren’t falling apart. We just need a few simple solutions to help us breathe and to know that everything is okay.

Mental detox is something to practice often times as needed. This probably goes without saying, but detoxes are a way to temporarily flush the bad and negative out as best as possible, and usually only last a temporary amount of time.

Out with the negative thoughts and in with positive vibes. Out with the things that cause anxiety and tension, and in with quality life and feeling good.

Seriously, no one’s life is perfect. We’re all just trying to catch up.

I’m going to be really transparent for you, my loyal crowd. From time to time, I just feel overloaded with stuff to do. I feel the pressure of being a mom (that probably being one of my most talked about subjects).

Last summer, I was I was taking on being a full-time mom, a part-time job (that was getting busier), Momma Bird Blog, and was writing for 2 other blogs. I felt good at first. Then it started to settle. One of the companies needed me to work on the weekends when I was at my son’s baseball games. I had to work later those nights as well. And my husband’s military obligations left me to take care of the kids. And the second company had a lot of due dates. I felt so overwhelmed because everyone needed me all at once.

So in stepped my 21 Day Challenge for mind, body, and soul. I created, and am tweaking this challenge. Maybe we really should focus 21 Days on focusing our mind, 21 days for our body, and 21 days for our soul. All separate challenges. What do you think?

It’s fabulous that so many of you could take advantage of my very first Momma Bird Blog post, 8 Ways to Lose Baby Weight Realistically. There have been some edits to this one to expand with helpful tips for you. I’m really thrilled that it has over 8.8K impressions on Pinterest!

But today, let’s talk more about mental detox. (Again, I’m no doctor, just a mom who has used these methods and came out on top). The methods I use are a bit more DIY and natural.

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How To Do A Mental Detox

  1. Set aside time to be on your phone in the day. Put your phone in a safe, stationary place (to keep from subconsciously turning on all day) and stay focused on the day ahead. I’d like to start treating my cell phone like more of a home phone. Remember the good ol’ days when the phone you were using was attached to a wire that was attached to a box on the wall? I kind of miss that!
  2. If you don’t have time to answer the phone, call them back later. People forget that there are voicemails. Often, if I’m in the middle of feeding my kids, putting them to bed, shopping, or having a conversation with someone 1-on-1 I usually ignore all of my calls. Of course, I check my voicemail usually after I put the kids to bed.
  3. Unsubscribe to emails that you don’t even read. Uh, the emails! I catch myself just deleting them without even reading them. That means they aren’t a priority. You don’t owe anyone your time.
  4. Unfriend people who whine or complain too much. Drama doesn’t have any place in my life. I have enough to think about. If your “friends” are throwing people under the bus (and publicly), why would you want to be their friend?
  5. Log out of social media accounts and predetermine a time or day to log back in. Similar to #1, this will help you from clicking all of your notifications if you have to check your phone.
    Don’t scroll all day.
  6. Mentally list a couple people who you genuinely look up to. Think about how they make you feel. Influence is good if we use it for good. I personally look up to so many women, it’s unreal! But I definitely look up to my mom and sister 100% because of how genuine and caring they are! I want to be more like that!
  7. Find a way to cheer up/help someone, whether complimenting them, holding the door, or just being a listening ear. It doesn’t have to be anything big. This is another big push towards being positive!
  8. Say “no” to people or events if it’d add too much to your plate. I’m learning from some of the most selfless people this hard decision. We don’t earn God’s love any more by working any harder. But if we narrow our agenda, maybe we would have more time to enjoy this beautiful life and spend it with love and happiness.
  9. Create a goals list. “Eat more fresh produce, play 10 minutes with the kids, plan a summer vacation.” Oh, how this is important! You need to see clearly what you’re doing in life. Are you buying healthier food to bring home? Are you setting aside the time you would’ve otherwise been busy for your kids? And if that summer vacation is a real goal, start saving aside!
  10. Imagine your dream vacation. Put your mind in a happy place. Imagine the scenery, the life, the smells, the sounds, the things you can touch… Can you feel the sand in your toes? Or feel the cool mountain breeze on your cheeks?
  11. Declutter the rooms that you spend the most time in first (like your bedroom, living room, and kitchen). Decluttering is the biggest one I do over and over again. But when I’m existing in a clean room with fresh smells, soft carpet, and minimal damage (like toys and crud), I feel more welcome. There has actually been scientific evidence that a clean home can reduce anxiety. (Which is probably why so many of us moms are always freaking out!)
  12. Not only declutter but part with the items you no longer use. As we slowly collect items like new clothes or Christmas gifts, use that perfect timing to swap out the new for old. Even if you have a stack of papers (that was once a stack and is now meshing together), then start pitching those! I just cleared our paper pile yesterday and GIRL, does it feel good!
  13. Schedule your to-do list. “Monday vacuum, Tuesday errands…” Bloggers use this schedule too. “Monday reply to emails and draft posts, Tuesday edit and schedule posts…” It kind of makes your to-do list happen, one baby step at a time.
  14. Join a church (where you can listen to and understand the Word). This is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself. We go to an AMAZING Christian church! Almost every Sunday, I go to service with something on my heart. And it seems like the messages are meant for me. It clears all that mental fog, all the negative and gray area. I always leave there feeling lighter. Not only that, but the community is so important for our whole family. Life will just start making sense if you’re in the right place.
  15. Start a devotional. I own a couple devotionals that sit right on my end table. Every morning I read the quick little messages and it helps me to focus longer in the day. I focus on not trying to be perfect but trying to be a mom God’s way.
  16. Or sit in 10 minutes of silence. This could potentially be the most challenging of all of the mental detox methods. But when’s the last time you just turned everything off, and just let your thoughts flow. One of the biggest things I need as a Mom is “headspace.” I just want an hour to not have to answer anyone, not be focusing on other tasks, but just to be me for a moment.
  17. Silently repeat positive mantras through the day. You are your biggest fan and your weakest opponent. It’s truly amazing the things your mind can do. You can push through your pain if you only tell yourself to keep on going. You can learn to be brave if you remind yourself that you deserve more.
  18. Journal about your feelings and emotions. (If you don’t have time, make bullet points.) Either jot down how your feeling, or journal like you speak to a close friend. Sometimes the best way to sort out your thoughts is by writing them. You’ll discover some feelings and emotions that get buried by your busy day. Let them all out. It’s okay.
  19. Listen to relaxing or ambient music. Another mental detox that has been scientifically proven is to listen to some ambient music. There is a song that’s going viral called “Weightless” by Macaroni Union. This song is supposed to help reduce feelings of anxiety. There are also songs compiled like “Happiness Frequency”, “Deep Focus Music, Binaural Beats,” and “Let go of fear, overthinking, and worries.”
  20. Make time for something you enjoy. If you didn’t schedule laundry to be done today, let it sit. Instead, paint your nails, take a bubble bath, exercise, read a murder mystery, or watch a sappy love story.
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The thing about this detox is you can pick what you need to work on most. The goal is to free you from your overwhelming feelings. After 21 days of consistency, you’ll feel 100% more focused on what matters most. Your family.

Who would be interested in doing the challenge with me?

10 Self-Care Ideas (for Tired Moms)

10 Self-Care Ideas (for Tired Moms)

Self-care sounds lovely, doesn’t it? Since your new mom days, you were always told to sleep when the baby sleeps. That kind of seems impossible, right? How the heck am I supposed to get the house up to par if I’m always napping?

If the majority of the house care and childcare is your responsibility, then you start to realize you have a choice. Well, 2 choices…

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Mom Life (And The Thing No One Talks About)

Mom Life (And The Thing No One Talks About)

To all the moms feeling inadequate,

You feel like you’ll never win. You can never make everyone happy, keep the house clean, or you forget to do something from time to time. You’re only one person. And you’re very overwhelmed. Sometimes to the point of tears.

You’ll debate with yourself. “Why can’t I be as good as other moms?” Or “My family’s and my house’s needs are more important than me.” “I don’t deserve ____ if I can’t get anything done first.” (Even after doing said thing all day).

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10 Motivational Quotes For the Mom Who Feels Stuck

10 Motivational Quotes For the Mom Who Feels Stuck

Friends, if there’s one thing that really needs sharing, it’s this.

It’s normal to dive head first into the sea of motherhood unknowingly. It’s an exciting new adventure that you get lost in. You overcome a lot of tribulations in this underwater journey. Finally, you look for a glimmering ray of sunlight to lead you to the air. Once you’ve surfaced, you might have no idea where you are anymore, and you have no idea where to go. You aren’t quite the same person anymore.

Continue reading “10 Motivational Quotes For the Mom Who Feels Stuck”