How to Enjoy Mom Life More (While Raising a Young Crew)

How to Enjoy Mom Life More (While Raising a Young Crew)

Moms with a couple small dependent kids will find significant value in what I’m about to say. This the very stage that you’re in that made me feel like a terrible Mom not long ago. You’re supposed to enjoy all of mom life, right?

You get the notion that you’re always supposed to be filled with joy because you were blessed with awesome little people. We are blessed. We know that without a doubt.

These mini’s are adorable, easy to please, they replicate multitudes of love, and they have such innocent, unique personalities! They give the best hugs and randomly proclaim their love for us. And when they hurt feelings, it’s likely to be accidental and so easy to forgive.

Although toddlers are easy to please, they are likewise just as difficult at times. As your mini grows, he wants to dress himself, buckle himself, and even pour his own drinks. Determined, he’ll dive right in with the intent of flawlessly mirroring your efforts. And when he fails… oh man! His big emotions will show! Sometimes it just feels like they’re intentionally making things harder on us. Doesn’t it?

You might feel seriously overworked and overwhelmed because your kids depend on you so much. Most days you won’t quite receive the help you need. Instead, you’re outnumbered and spend the majority of your waking day multitasking like you’ve never done before.

By the time you can sit in peace for the day, you don’t feel accomplished. You’ve done everything, yet still unable to recall all the details of the day. Chances are you’ll have fed them countless snacks, kissed some boo-boo’s, wiped their tears, held them, had a dance party, corrected them, stuck them in time-out, played a silly game, broke up fights, read a story, cleaned up never-ending messes, made some phone calls, paid some bills, cleaned up potty accidents, washed some laundry, fed your kids, washed the dishes, and bathed your little ones, all while doing little for yourself. Chances are you probably would’ve had some thoughts to yourself, but you fell asleep as soon as the chaos was over.

You might start to feel exhausted all around. You might feel lost. And you might feel that you lost. But here’s what I would’ve told myself then when I felt like a bad mom for not enjoying all of it.

Being a mom is tough. That’s the one thing you won’t hear often enough. Mom life wears you down hardcore in ways you didn’t know possible.

It’s normal to feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and even frustrated. It’s normal to sometimes feel emotional and worried about your family. But just because those things are normal doesn’t mean they’ll go away on their own. It’ll take some time and effort before you begin to enjoy motherhood more.

Motherhood comes with the beautiful, and ugly. Every minute that you enjoy with your kids, you have earned tenfold. These little people with big messes and big emotions aren’t too far off from being big themselves.

You probably feel like your kids will always be small and depend on you. You fear that you’re always going to be so overwhelmed and it makes you feel slightly more crazy just thinking there’s no end. But friend, you are so near the light at the end of the tunnel.

One day your kiddos will tie their shoes, buckle themselves, head off to school, help with more chores, and even show empathy. You’ll finally reap the rewards of their younger years. That day will be oh! so bittersweet because you will wish for a single day of time-travel to hold your baby once more. And yet, you will shed many of the challenges that you’ve waited so long to be free from.

There will come a day in the near future when you’ll see a new mom enjoying her sweet little one, smile, and you imagine that fresh baby smell. You’ll wish you could tell your old self to enjoy more of the little things, to laugh at the imperfections, and soak it all in. Even the parts you thought you didn’t enjoy.

This stage of life may not look very beautiful in your mind. It looks a lot like a national disaster. But this, right now, is your blessing. There will always be one more thing you need to do. Your to-do list will probably grow resembling Jack and the Beanstalk. You’ll likely never see the end of messes and chores with little ones at home, anyways.

Motherhood is a balancing act.

Instead of letting ourselves feel defeated, we should take care of ourselves better and ask for more help. Make friends with moms and dads going through the same stage of parenting. Find ways to make an ordinary day with the kids special. Make some memories and take the pictures or journal about it. And really, just start thinking more positively.

A few years ago when I was really struggling, I would’ve said to myself; “Let go of your idea of this perfect image of motherhood and enjoy what’s yours now. Go get some more sleep, see your doctor until you feel good, tell someone how you feel, go for that drive, cry, get mad, pray about it, and know that this tough, beautiful stage is almost over. And you’re going to really miss it one day.”

To you Moms who are going through this, give whatever ounce of faith you have. God is so good! You’ll get through the struggles with Him like I did.

Motherhood is such a blessing! Let’s enjoy these moments that are ours now before they become a distant memory.

How To Do A Mental Detox (20 Ways)

How To Do A Mental Detox (20 Ways)

Stress is 1,000x harder to hide from when you’re a mom (or dad). You just feel so overwhelmed and you’re well aware that you can’t just shake the feeling. I mean, you let the laundry pile up and then tomorrow there’s a mountain of clothes to fold! Let the kids play on their own for 10 minutes, and suddenly your house looks a hurricane hit.

Sometimes we just need to feel like our lives aren’t falling apart. We just need a few simple solutions to help us breathe and to know that everything is okay.

Mental detox is something to practice often times as needed. This probably goes without saying, but detoxes are a way to temporarily flush the bad and negative out as best as possible, and usually only last a temporary amount of time.

Out with the negative thoughts and in with positive vibes. Out with the things that cause anxiety and tension, and in with quality life and feeling good.

Seriously, no one’s life is perfect. We’re all just trying to catch up.

I’m going to be really transparent for you, my loyal crowd. From time to time, I just feel overloaded with stuff to do. I feel the pressure of being a mom (that probably being one of my most talked about subjects).

Last summer, I was I was taking on being a full-time mom, a part-time job (that was getting busier), Momma Bird Blog, and was writing for 2 other blogs. I felt good at first. Then it started to settle. One of the companies needed me to work on the weekends when I was at my son’s baseball games. I had to work later those nights as well. And my husband’s military obligations left me to take care of the kids. And the second company had a lot of due dates. I felt so overwhelmed because everyone needed me all at once.

So in stepped my 21 Day Challenge for mind, body, and soul. I created, and am tweaking this challenge. Maybe we really should focus 21 Days on focusing our mind, 21 days for our body, and 21 days for our soul. All separate challenges. What do you think?

It’s fabulous that so many of you could take advantage of my very first Momma Bird Blog post, 8 Ways to Lose Baby Weight Realistically. There have been some edits to this one to expand with helpful tips for you. I’m really thrilled that it has over 8.8K impressions on Pinterest!

But today, let’s talk more about mental detox. (Again, I’m no doctor, just a mom who has used these methods and came out on top). The methods I use are a bit more DIY and natural.

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How To Do A Mental Detox

  1. Set aside time to be on your phone in the day. Put your phone in a safe, stationary place (to keep from subconsciously turning on all day) and stay focused on the day ahead. I’d like to start treating my cell phone like more of a home phone. Remember the good ol’ days when the phone you were using was attached to a wire that was attached to a box on the wall? I kind of miss that!
  2. If you don’t have time to answer the phone, call them back later. People forget that there are voicemails. Often, if I’m in the middle of feeding my kids, putting them to bed, shopping, or having a conversation with someone 1-on-1 I usually ignore all of my calls. Of course, I check my voicemail usually after I put the kids to bed.
  3. Unsubscribe to emails that you don’t even read. Uh, the emails! I catch myself just deleting them without even reading them. That means they aren’t a priority. You don’t owe anyone your time.
  4. Unfriend people who whine or complain too much. Drama doesn’t have any place in my life. I have enough to think about. If your “friends” are throwing people under the bus (and publicly), why would you want to be their friend?
  5. Log out of social media accounts and predetermine a time or day to log back in. Similar to #1, this will help you from clicking all of your notifications if you have to check your phone.
    Don’t scroll all day.
  6. Mentally list a couple people who you genuinely look up to. Think about how they make you feel. Influence is good if we use it for good. I personally look up to so many women, it’s unreal! But I definitely look up to my mom and sister 100% because of how genuine and caring they are! I want to be more like that!
  7. Find a way to cheer up/help someone, whether complimenting them, holding the door, or just being a listening ear. It doesn’t have to be anything big. This is another big push towards being positive!
  8. Say “no” to people or events if it’d add too much to your plate. I’m learning from some of the most selfless people this hard decision. We don’t earn God’s love any more by working any harder. But if we narrow our agenda, maybe we would have more time to enjoy this beautiful life and spend it with love and happiness.
  9. Create a goals list. “Eat more fresh produce, play 10 minutes with the kids, plan a summer vacation.” Oh, how this is important! You need to see clearly what you’re doing in life. Are you buying healthier food to bring home? Are you setting aside the time you would’ve otherwise been busy for your kids? And if that summer vacation is a real goal, start saving aside!
  10. Imagine your dream vacation. Put your mind in a happy place. Imagine the scenery, the life, the smells, the sounds, the things you can touch… Can you feel the sand in your toes? Or feel the cool mountain breeze on your cheeks?
  11. Declutter the rooms that you spend the most time in first (like your bedroom, living room, and kitchen). Decluttering is the biggest one I do over and over again. But when I’m existing in a clean room with fresh smells, soft carpet, and minimal damage (like toys and crud), I feel more welcome. There has actually been scientific evidence that a clean home can reduce anxiety. (Which is probably why so many of us moms are always freaking out!)
  12. Not only declutter but part with the items you no longer use. As we slowly collect items like new clothes or Christmas gifts, use that perfect timing to swap out the new for old. Even if you have a stack of papers (that was once a stack and is now meshing together), then start pitching those! I just cleared our paper pile yesterday and GIRL, does it feel good!
  13. Schedule your to-do list. “Monday vacuum, Tuesday errands…” Bloggers use this schedule too. “Monday reply to emails and draft posts, Tuesday edit and schedule posts…” It kind of makes your to-do list happen, one baby step at a time.
  14. Join a church (where you can listen to and understand the Word). This is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself. We go to an AMAZING Christian church! Almost every Sunday, I go to service with something on my heart. And it seems like the messages are meant for me. It clears all that mental fog, all the negative and gray area. I always leave there feeling lighter. Not only that, but the community is so important for our whole family. Life will just start making sense if you’re in the right place.
  15. Start a devotional. I own a couple devotionals that sit right on my end table. Every morning I read the quick little messages and it helps me to focus longer in the day. I focus on not trying to be perfect but trying to be a mom God’s way.
  16. Or sit in 10 minutes of silence. This could potentially be the most challenging of all of the mental detox methods. But when’s the last time you just turned everything off, and just let your thoughts flow. One of the biggest things I need as a Mom is “headspace.” I just want an hour to not have to answer anyone, not be focusing on other tasks, but just to be me for a moment.
  17. Silently repeat positive mantras through the day. You are your biggest fan and your weakest opponent. It’s truly amazing the things your mind can do. You can push through your pain if you only tell yourself to keep on going. You can learn to be brave if you remind yourself that you deserve more.
  18. Journal about your feelings and emotions. (If you don’t have time, make bullet points.) Either jot down how your feeling, or journal like you speak to a close friend. Sometimes the best way to sort out your thoughts is by writing them. You’ll discover some feelings and emotions that get buried by your busy day. Let them all out. It’s okay.
  19. Listen to relaxing or ambient music. Another mental detox that has been scientifically proven is to listen to some ambient music. There is a song that’s going viral called “Weightless” by Macaroni Union. This song is supposed to help reduce feelings of anxiety. There are also songs compiled like “Happiness Frequency”, “Deep Focus Music, Binaural Beats,” and “Let go of fear, overthinking, and worries.”
  20. Make time for something you enjoy. If you didn’t schedule laundry to be done today, let it sit. Instead, paint your nails, take a bubble bath, exercise, read a murder mystery, or watch a sappy love story.
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The thing about this detox is you can pick what you need to work on most. The goal is to free you from your overwhelming feelings. After 21 days of consistency, you’ll feel 100% more focused on what matters most. Your family.

Who would be interested in doing the challenge with me?